Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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