Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
