Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
