That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
