I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
