maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
