Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
