God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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