mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think your dad took our porno
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
