What a fucking waste of an outfit
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
