I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
