Nicole vs. Life
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
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