who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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