The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
whose ass print is on the piano?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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