As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
