my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
