im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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