I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
