when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also, beer. Big fan.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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