Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm at about main and main street
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
