I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
