Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
