Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Send help, water and tortillas.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
