and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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