I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
