He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
