last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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