Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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