Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize