called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
