Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
