I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
