True but thats because hes a fetus.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
