what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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