ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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