'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The uberlube is also flammable
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
