There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
