They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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