I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
