He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
