i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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