I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize