i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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