Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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