she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize