Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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