if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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