I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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