I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
