the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize