i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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