do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
