paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
