he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
