Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
