I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
