i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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