I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
