So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
