wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
