I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize