we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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