New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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