Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
