Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
