You really coming over, don't trick.
how can u be prego again
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
