apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
