I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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